Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
