i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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