dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
