I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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