she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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