Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
