I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
