those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
