She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
