The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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