Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize