New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
