Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My friends, they love my intelligence
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
