I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
