i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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