I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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