Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
