He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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