This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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