I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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