doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
