can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
