20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's blow job season.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
