Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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