So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
