We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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