i would punch a child for taco bell
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
