On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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