K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I love having hate sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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