you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
