the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
