But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
