in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
