think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
