So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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