My brain says no but my pants say off.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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