with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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