Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
