i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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