do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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