I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
