i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
