Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
3 2 1 whiskey
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
