I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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