I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
