PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
