I love having hate sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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