just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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