we're chasing vodka with high fives
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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