she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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