also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
