oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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