Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
