well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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