Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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