One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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