I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
