i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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