Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
