i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
