great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
